| Hello Grandma Wisconsin,
Bark, the Herald Dachshunds sing, “Hail to Claire, the new-born Queen”! Moomie said “no, Claire, that’s not what they’re singing”, but my -- selective -- puppy hearing is perfect and I think she needs a hearing aid. The Big Dachshunds planted a pine tree smack dab in our great room! What’s that all about? Good thing I’m not a boy-boy or I would be tempted to play tripod against it!!! Brother Jack, are you reading this, teehee!? J Grandma, I haven’t written to you in a while because Moomie said I should write a letter to Santa Paws first. This is my 1st Christmas and I’m a babe in the woods who has no clue what the hoopla about an obese, hairy, human geezer in a red velvet suit is all about, but being a good little Dachsie girl, I indulged her. Here’s what I wrote: Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is everything in PetsMart. I also want an octokini and a wubba raft because our new pool will be finished in a few days. (I will be lounging in the sun while lildoxis are dashing through snow in Wiener Wonderland). And I want Grandma and Grandpa and all lildoxis feel as warm and fuzzy and happy as I do. Dachshundishly yours, Naughty-Nice Claire I haven’t finished “daching” the halls yet for my 1st Christmas, so this will be a shortie (like me) to wish you YAPPY HOWLIDAYS. Merry, merry Christmas and happy, happy New Year to all! ‘Tis the season to be jolly, Dachs-la-lah,-la-lala-lah! Claire Written by, Fernande Hastert Kuykendall |
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| YAPPY NEW YEAR, Grandma Wisconsin!
My boyfriend, Capone, (sigh!!) suggested going out on New Year’s Eve and get wasted in Barkaritaville. Dogs!! Being a well-bred young lady, I declined of course and stayed home with Moomie and Papa instead, doing what I do best: releasing CUDDLE HORMONES, sometimes known as oxytocin. We snuggled by the fire in our PJs and as soon as the big crystal ballie dropped in the Big Apple, we pretended it was also midnight in Arizona and crawled into our big communal pup cup to catch some much needed zzzzs, still exhausted from Santa Paws’ visit the week before. It was my BEST Christmas ever! Moomie pointed out that it was my FIRST Christmas; well … that makes it the best to date! Santa must have been able to read my squiggly, wiggly paw-writing because he brought everything on my wish list, … and more. Toys, toys, toys!!! Squeaky toys, chewy toys, soft toys, big ones, little ones, even a peanut-scented iPuppy-phone! Unfortunately, I accidentally nibbled off the dial so I cannot call you on it. Next year I’ll ask for an iPuppy-Pad. I hear they’re more user-friendly. I got so excited over all my new treasures I immediately reciprocated by giving Moomie & Papa a “chocolate éclair”. Papa had just walked me to the exterior potty station but I was in such a hurry to get back inside, I forgot about baking one until I was back in the house, then offered my “gift” right in front of our dinner guests. Oops, major faux paw!! My juvenile, exuberance-induced indiscretion was quickly forgiven and forgotten though when I hung my pretty little head in shame and extended an apologetic paw-paw to our guests. Humans like that, melts ‘em like sunbathing snowmen! The New Year is already in full swing and Puppy U starts up again on Sunday. Can hardly wait to catch up with my boyfriend. Hope the cad was on a short leash and didn’t hook up with some Poodle or PomPom floozy on New Year’s Eve! Be still my foolish heart! Claire. |
| Hello Grandma Wisconsin ,
I have a boyfriend!!! Capone, (as in big, bad Al), is a 135 pounds-- and GROWING -- Boerboel (pronounce Borbel) from South Africa . We met at Puppy U, attending undergraduate classes. Some bitches think he’s a horrible Boerboel but I think he’s an adorable Boerboel. When I first laid eyes on him, I yipped as shrilly as I could to draw attention to petite moi. What can I say? It was puppy love at first bootie sniff! He cannot take his bloodshot peepers off gorgeous, sexy little me and my heart races madly when he lumbers into class. I sure hope the hunk o’hunk of ever drool-slobberin’ mass of Mastiff didn’t cheat on me with some harlot on New Year’s Eve and will ask me to be his Valentine. If not, another beau has also fallen victim to my feminine wiles: my kissin’ cousin, Jamie Blue, a 90 pound Chocolate Lab is hounding me with peemails to go out with him instead of Capone. What can I say? I attract big, brawny, macho studs, much to Moomie’s and Papa’s chagrin. They think I’m too young to date, especially someone out of my dachshundish class. They are obviously too old to remember what it’s like to be a teenager with raging hormones! Love is in the air, for crème de la crème Claire! YAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Claire |
| Claires Blog |
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| Hello Grandma Wisconsin,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me! Happy BELATED birthday to me! Happy birthday, sister Halo; Happy Birthday brother Jack! Can’t believe we hit the big O-ONE. Wasn’t that fun!? We greeted the world on April 11, 2010 and have taken it by storm ever since, me trying to train Staff and blogging in Arizona, Halo in Seattle, attending showgirl prep school, and Jack holding on to your apron strings in Wisconsin. Must be true what they say about boys not maturing as quickly as girls! Just kidding, Bro! Everybody, sing: it’s my party, and I bark if I want to, bark if I want to … Hey! It was my special day! Though I didn’t get cake or feast on steak. I loved to nibble on extra Hundefutter kibble. And I loved my new toys. From TX Auntie Beth’s Girls and Boys. I had fun, fun, fun in the Arizona sun … until … alas, “adulthood” came with a price: I had a pipi pouch booboo that scared the bejeez out of Moomie, so she and Papa rushed me to the White Coat who promptly outraged my modesty by inserting a garden hose to syphoon some pipi for testing. Moomie said it was a catheter, not a garden hose. He put what into my “you know what”??? Catheter is spelled c a t heter! Ohmegosh, he sent a kitty spelunking inside of me!!??. I will have day-and-nightmares forever! Thanks goodness the get-well cocktail he prescribed tasted like chickie, so I forgave him and enjoyed sucking it through an eyedropper straw. The booboo juice worked well and all was quiet on the pipi front for a few days, then the dang dam burst yet again, so back to the White Coat I went for more tests. This time, he shoved a gimungeous needle in my neck and sucked blood out of me like a thirsty vampire!!! I’m plotting revenge and sharpening my toofies! Moomie and the White Coat had a bowwow powwow about the test results and you will never believe what they decided: more testing!!! So here I am in a hospital pup cup once again, killing time between blood-sucking sessions, blogging about it on my iPeePad. Enough already! Oh no, here comes Dracula again for yet another refill. Bloodhound!!! Well, that pawsitively sucks, so need to sign off but want to quickly mention that I recently attended Doxie Fun Day and made so many new friends, I decided to open a Snoutbook account so we can post barks. I will send you a “friend” request because you’re the bestest of the best. Claire-Claire |
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| English Cream miniature dachshunds|AKC Breeder of Merit|Vom DaxiHaus|1684 Twin Lakes Circle Green Bay WI 54311| 715-216-5400 |
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| HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA WISCONSIN!
The “Man Days of Summer” are here, and, dog oh dog, is it hot in the A-Zone! To stay cool, I’m spending most of my days floating on my wubber waft in the pool, and as I float around, my mind (I have a big one!) is drifting, drifting, drif … to … a cooler land, far, far away …where I was born and spent the first 6 months of my life. Once upon a time -- April 11, 2010 --, on a bright and sunny Sunday morning, in the Badger State of Wisconsin, also known as the Land of Cheese, creamy “badger dog” triplets were born at a beautiful castle on a green bay, called Vom Daxi Haus. The proud bio parents, Papa “Devin” (CH A Devine Connex Vom Daxi Haus MLC) and Mama “Bunny” (Ray O Creamsumbunny Vom Daxi Haus MLC), were overjoyed to welcome a handsome son and 2 beautiful daughters. They named the boy Jack, but they couldn’t decide what to name the girls since they looked identical, so the human grandma, Jacqulyn, named both of them Abby (I & II). You probably guessed by now, I am/was Abby II. “Who’s on first”? “Two’s on first”! Yes, me, lil Abby II opened my eyes first when I was only 9 days old, really early for a cream “badger dog” baby. Grandma thinks it was because bio-Moomie, Bunny, ate all that good Hundefutter when I was in her belly, but I think it’s because I couldn’t wait to see the beautiful castle and everyone that lives in it. I was a curious lildoxis princess who couldn’t wait to wake up each morning to the joyful sounds of the castle. Grandma and grandpa greeted us “wake up sleepy heads”. Mommy and daddy, aunties, uncles, and cousins all rubbed their eyes, yawning. But not me, Abby II. I barked “good morning” back, bouncing with anticipation of my hearty Junger Hundefutter breakfast, followed by playtime. Our daily routine went like this: once we were fully awake, it was sheer pandemonium. Grandma quickly opened our “bedroom” doors, lifted us up and carefully set each of us on the ground. After briefly sniffing her out, we raced out the door as fast as our lildoxis bodies could motor, around the corner, slipping and sliding into one another like bowling pins as we tried to regain our footing. Once we did, we reached our fun play yard. We sniffed one another (humans should do this too, I highly recommend it), played tag, took care of “business” after our yummy breakfast! The girls gossiped about “studly” boys, bio Moomie bragged about her babies, and some kin folk squabbled about who had better conformation. Later in the morning, grandma carried us to an “elegant spa” for a bath and pawdicure. I loved that special girlie bonding time! There was lots of room to run around in the play yard, and I loved the little stones beneath my paw-paws. There are little pebbles in my A-Zone resort and I still love them. But playing with the toys was the best! There was a playhouse, a swimming pool for skinny-dipping (naughty, risqué me!), a tunnel to go through, a ramp to climb, a bridge to cross, and a slide to go down … wheeee. Sometimes we barked “hello” at the neighbors who stopped by to visit. We were told to shush when we got too loud, and to mind our manners. Yeah, yeah, we knew what to do, but sometimes it was just too hard to control ourselves. Usually grandma, grandpa, or Miriah, the lovely kennel lady, came out to play with us and give us gazillions of pat-pats, hugs, and “yeah”, and “good girl” cheers.. They taught us to share, play nicely, and respect one another (whatever that means). We sang songs, flirted!! , and pranced around looking beautiful. Some lildoxis just liked to bask in the sun. They would love the Zone and should move here. We could have fun, fun, fun in the Arizona sun! While we were playing, the humans did laundry, cleaned up our “business cards”, and swept and mopped our bedrooms. Good to have staff! They also took care of the boys in one area, and nursing mamas in another. At the end of a fun-filled day of playing, eating and pooping, when all of the laundry was done, our beds were made, and our toys were laid out, grandma called us to come back to our rooms. Usually, the boys were already tucked in their beds by the time us busy-bee girls were ready to call it a day. Lazy bums! Grandma, grandpa, and Miriah lifted us lovingly into our beds. As we snuggled into our clean blankies, we got a bedtime cookie. Yum! Some lildoxis got special care before bedtime. I asked my cousin what made her so special. She said MYOB, so I apologized. Then the lights went out, and everyone said “night-night” and “I wuff you”. It was an awesome life with my wienerful family at Vom Daxi Haus since most of my 6-generation family members knew each other all of their lives. Sweet dreams everyone! KAH-PLOP! SPLASH! BOOM! BANG! Oh no, my wubber waft capsized!!! Help!! Yelp!!!!, Moomie, Moomie, where am I? Claire-Claire, are you alright? I’m OK, Moomie, I am, I must have been snoozing and dreaming about being a baby badger-dog at Vom Daxi Haus castle, but I’m awake now, at the Castle in the Zone where it’s …… Summertime, and the livin’ is easy Lizards are jumpin’ and the temps are high My Papa’s rich and my Moomie’s good lookin’ So hush lil Claire-Claire, don’t you cry One of these mornings I’m going to rise up singing Then I’ll spread my wings and I’ll take to the sky And visit GRANDMA! But till that morning there’s a’nothing can harm me With Papa and Moomie standing by Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…… by Fernande Hastert Kuykendall |
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Hello Grandma, A year ago, I did not know Where I would go A year ago, I saw you last A year has come, a year has gone And it has been a blast And my how I have grown October 1, 2010 I was a scaredy lil pup October 1, 2011 I’m all grown up And have great fun In the Arizona sun Why don't you soon come visit Because you are much miss-ed Thank you for letting me adopt Moomie & Papa, one year ago today! |
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| Hello Grandma Wisconsin,
Sorry I haven’t blogged in a looong time but I have been suffering from acute (a cute) writer’s cramp and brain wiffies. Even though I had lots to tell you, my noggin and paw wouldn’t connect. Summer’s gone, and so was Moomie! She went to Europe, to visit her Moomie! I did not know I had another grandma and would have loved to go meet her, but she lives far, far away, across a huge puddle. The only way to get there is in one of those big, shiny birds that fly over my backyard poop station, so I stayed home with Papa and went to the office with him every day. He said I am the best laptop he ever had and he let me play with a robo mouse that poof, like magic, made Moomie appear on a screen. Papa called it Skype and we talked through the magic box. He also said I was the sexiest secretary he ever had. Helloooo, of course I am, I am legally blonde after all! Moomie was gone for 10 days, the longest I have been separated from her since I adopted her, and when she came back, I didn’t leave her side for weeks, making sure she wouldn’t go away again. But no matter how many kissies I showered her with, boohoo … she left again, and this time Papa went with her! They had to go to Washington because Moomie is a diplomat now and there was some highfalutin’ swearing-in ceremony where no doggies were allowed. Party poopers! I could have livened up the stuffy crowd quite a bit! Thanks goodness Nanny Beth came and stayed with me while they were gone or I would have starved to death from lack of love and Hundefutter (please note: reverse order of priority!). When they came back, they promised me they would not abandon me again until next year when they go watch my future sister, a showgirl named Reni, aka GCH Wroyal Sarenity Vom Daxi Haus MLC strut her regal bootie at the Westminster doggie show. What? Why? My hiney is cute too, so why won’t they just stay home and watch me jiggle it instead? And what’s this bark about a future sister all about? I already have a sister, Halo, and a brother, Jack, but I haven’t seen them since October 2010. I miss playing with them, so I hope this Reni-Girl loves to run and be chased as much as I do. I am actually willing to share Moomie and Papa with her, as long as she realizes I will always be Princess Claire-Claire and she will have to play by my rules! Soon Santa Claus will visit for the 2nd time. I have been a very good lildoxi girl, so I p-mailed my list already. I hope the elves will have enough time to get everything in the nick of time for St. Nick! 3 x HO = Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and Grandpa Mark, and your wonderful family, and all lildoxis at Vom Daxi Haus! Claire-Claire by Fernande Hastert Kuykendall |
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